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Somebody find a way to distract Akira Nishitani, and fast. The former Capcom developer is apparently getting itchy coding fingers, tweeting out some craziness about rebalancing 1994's Super Street Fighter II Turbo - globally recognised as the fairest and least broken fighter in history.
Nishitani - whose previous design work includes Capcom classics Final Fight, Forgotten Worlds, and X-Men: Children of the Atom - made the comments earlier this week, noting that he'd like to have "a shot" at tweaking the Already Perfectly Balanced, No Changes Necessary, 32-year-old scrapper.
"Sorry if it turns into a 'nerf fest', ha ha!", he added. Making light of a Very Serious situation.
Super Street Fighter II Turbo (or simply "ST" on the competitive scene) is a ruthless fighting game, with stupendous damage, fast frame recovery, and almost supernatural grab distances.
While some of these elements might be considered outrageous in a modern fighter, they are an indelible part of ST's '90s charm. And though Akuma's air fireballs, Claw's wall dive, Ken's fierce Shoryuken, and Boxer's headbutts are among a plethora of ridiculous tools and buttons, the ST faithful really wouldn't have it any other way.
ST received its last overhaul in 2008, with the arrival of the hand-drawn remaster Super Street Fighter II Turbo: HD Remix on PS3 and Xbox 360. Captained by lead designer David Sirlin, HD Remix rebalanced almost the entire ST roster, applying a range of buffs, nerfs, and even input changes to a variety of characters - with Zangief being perhaps the biggest beneficiary and the (frequently banned) Akuma taking the hardest (2nd) impact.
While Sirlin did fine work with HD Remix, the competitive scene - where ST remains a popular title - generally stuck to Capcom's original 1994 vision, with especially dedicated organisers (such as the TOs at Texas Showdown, or VS Fighting's Virtua Chip Shop) utilising original CPS2 arcade hardware for true authenticity. It is also here that you can often find me, going a hard 0-2 while dressed as Testament from Guilty Gear.
Of course, Nishitani was merely musing here. And even if a new rebalance were to take place, it's fine. It would likely leave the competitive scene unaffected, due to the aforementioned devotion to original hardware. Regardless, I did break out into a cold sweat at the mere suggestion - Heaven forbid - that anything in ST needs adjustment. It's perfectly balanced as is - just like Marvel vs. Capcom 2, Arc System Works' Fist of the North Star, and almost anything from NetherRealm Studios.
You can have my Chun-Li Blockstun Into Grab for 26% when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.